Wisdom in paradoxes

May 21, 2025

There are two contradict-ory proverbs — ‘Look before your leap’ and ‘Opportunities never come to those who wait… they are captured by those who dare to attack.’ Which one is true? Well, both are, it is only limitation of language that requires the same truth to be expressed in two opposite sounding sentences. Wisdom is in understanding the truth in the paradox and applying them in life.

A friend of mine wrote a book titled, Best is the enemy to good. I generally say during trainings, “Good is the enemy to great.” The book emphasises that in life just being good is enough. In my trainings, I say, “Being good is not enough. Along with doing good business, we should pursue greater business potentials.” So, who is right? Actually there is no contradiction if we understand the crux of the matter. When we try to be best, we may not even be able to be good. But then, if we are satisfied at the level of good, we may not achieve the best. The contradiction reveals that truth of life is greater than words in languages. Life becomes effective when we understand the sense of both and apply them equally.

Most debates take place when we are caught in words. Debates are not only unnecessary but also harmful for our relationships. They take us nowhere. The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge talks about ‘mental model’ where everything (or everyone) is partially right but largely wrong. It is because our mental model can see only a part of truth. Senge says the problem is not that we see partial truth but that we mistake it as the whole. Then the fight begins.

We already have enough agenda for fighting — political opinions, religious beliefs, et cetera. We have had many fights in the names of Gods. Amazingly, we have never seen the Gods of different religions fighting with each other. Rather than us debating whose God is mightier, why not let Gods fight and decide once and for all? Yet, humans are fighting and killing each other, almost like children quarrelling over which movie star is stronger.

People love to argue. I have sometimes seen managers fighting over which management theory or model is superior. Some take seven habits training and say it is most effective. Some participate in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) trainings and says NLP is everything. There are other professionals who criticise one or the other for being unoriginal or unscientific. But every management theory and tool has its own place and none is superior over the other. No theory or programme is fully original, yet each one contains some originality. 

Whenever we have an argument, let us understand that we are holding our personal viewpoint very tightly. The wisdom is not in the views but the underlying sense of different ideas. Wisdom is in seeing the point in different and paradoxical views.

(R. Manandhar is the lead facilitator at Kabule – The Wise Leader. He has been a regular columnist on leadership for ten years in The Himalayan Times, Nepal's largest-selling English daily. This article was originally published in the paper’s 'Leadership League' column. He can be contacted at kabule2020@gmail.com.)